Too Much

Too Much

I want to do too much. 

I feel like I want to do many different things at every moment and no matter what I pick, I am berating myself for not picking the other thing. No choice can make me happy because I am always NOT attending to something important. Sometimes I gossip to myself about myself and I am not nice.

Of course, this makes me uncomfortable in the present moment. I want to leave this place that is so critical of my choices.

I usually pick something productive yet easy, like doing the dishes, and then I tell myself that when this little chore is done, we will be in better shape to do all the other stuff. I might listen to a podcast so I can’t hear the negativity.

When I am done with that task, I am surprised to find I still feel freaked out about how much stuff needs to get done. 

I am telling myself a lie over and over. The lie is this: You will be happy when all the things are done. Do you know what it’s called when all the things are done?

RIP.

I am trying to stop doing this. I am trying to stop trying. I am experimenting with just being in the activity rather than accomplishing the activity. It’s really hard. That gossipy part of myself is always blathering on and distracting us. She is constantly narrating everything, categorizing everything, ranking everything and comparing everything. It’s so hard to shut her up. But if I succeed without the aid of someone else talking, there is a sense of relief. 

A sense of just enough.

What Difference Does It Make?

What Difference Does It Make?

What Difference Does It Make? Does your mind ever ask you this? 

Do you look down at your art and hear this phrase ping ponging through the corridors of thought? 

Poor little piece of art, are you really asking it to solve the world’s problems in order to justify its existence?

Are you asking it to solve all of your problems to justify its existence?

That is not what it is for!

What a heavy load to put on a humble impulse. 

Would you ask an egg to support a skyscraper?

The Difference is this: did you jump off a balcony? Did you break all your plates? Did you ruin a friendship? No? That’s the difference. Life is hard and art is necessary to make it bearable.

A little pleasure, a little hope, a little alchemy to transform the ugly to beauty.

An outcome does not have to be concrete and permanent. It can merely be the lack of defeat.

March Print Release is Here!

March Print Release is Here!

I have restocked the Limited Edition Print Gallery. Hurray! Link in menu.

This guy, Sidewalk Face 983, was made in 2018. I had forgotten about him, but he waved at me as I was going through the archives. I love his simplicity. Mostly he is a tumble of desiccated desert plant leaves. I rearranged them a bit but not too much. I don’t like my faces to be neat and tidy, I like lots of character and feeling, which I think he has.

I had some requests for the little bird print, and I’m offering two new ones, a sweet pavement face that looks like a cloud and a knowing wet cement wall face.

They would all enjoy saying hi to you!