I’m always on the lookout. What am I looking for? Something I have not yet noticed. A bunch of old potatoes sprouting in a neglected rose bush is just the sort of thing that floats my boat, and you know why. These faces don’t make themselves; I need materials!
This tater trove yielded some top-notch art supplies. Look at that face! So much texture! So much pathos! But I don’t think he’s happy with how his life turned out; probably expecting to live in a kitchen, big dreams of being mashed or fried. Rotting was not part of the plan. How did he get into this situation?
And what is this situation anyway? Were some folks hanging on their front steps with a few un-bagged potatoes and then rushing inside to answer the phone just forgot about them? Who hangs outside with potatoes? Have you done that? Is that a thing?
Even if it is a thing, how did the potatoes end up in the rose bushes? Why weren’t they disposed of in the trash? Truth is truly stranger than fiction.
I don’t know what exactly caught my eye, I just know a good opportunity for a face when I see one.
If you want to see me find this potato and make his face, check out my video reel on Instagram:
Can you believe it? We were honored with this award by the North American Sidewalk Face Federation. I’m over the moon! What until I tell my mom!
What’s going to happen to the competition when they get a load of this?! Guess who will be landing all the top tier sidewalk face making gigs for the next year? Ha! It’s my time to shine. The voters have had their say and they pick me!
Alright, alright. Let me tone it down and tell you what’s really going on. My brother and I were strolling down Beverly Boulevard chatting. We walk past Shaky Alibi and noticing the giant banner they have over the front entrance; he articulates something I’ve been mentally chewing on for years. He says, Exactly how many waffle voters are there?
The banner reads, “Voted Best Waffles in America.” It’s been there for more than a decade.
Every time I see that sign, I think, says who?! And what do they know about waffles? Waffle preferences aren’t exactly standardized. I believe a waffle loving person can tell a great waffle from a mediocre one, but do I trust they can determine the best of the bunch? How would you ever have enough money and resources to sample all the waffles and who would fund it? To what end? It’s not a reasonable thing to research. It’s simply a marketing ploy. Get someone to say you are the best and voilà, you are the best. So, I am now doing that here.
I am the founder of the North American Sidewalk Face Federation. Currently I am also the only member. Care to join? They are known for rewarding members with extravagant awards!
One eye is a small hole in the pavement. The other eye is a piece of damp bark. Her mouth and nose were made with mud. She briefly materialized at the corner of Here and There, a section of sidewalk I stroll over almost every day. There’s a giant fig tree watered regularly by sprinklers, so the pavement is often damp. Apparitions flutter through the shades of gray. When I have time, I help them embody and we share a secret or two before sun and wind vanquish them back to spirit.
I am offering a limited edition of ten prints. Details and more photos in the menu for Limited Edition Prints.