Without Time, Nothing

The number one ingredient in any art cake is time. Time is the flour, indispensable. If you don’t have chocolate, no problem, make it vanilla. If you don’t have nuts, add raisins. No, don’t do that. That sounds awful. Maybe add rice krispies so it’s still crunchy? None of that matters. Art isn’t a cake so time isn’t flour but nevertheless without time, no art will get made.

I’ve always thought this but recently I’ve experienced it. So though, believing it to be true, I was perhaps taking it on faith. Now I know. For sure. 100 Percent. It’s true.

I DID NOT HAVE TIME, I DID NOT MAKE ART.

Let me back up and say, despite the all caps proclamation above I am not talking about Capital A art. I am talking about exercising the basic creativity to make life worth living. I mean I am sure Capital A art also needs time. Obviously any endeavor happens over time and therefore needs it.

Oh my goodness, is this blog post worth reading? Can I say something an idiot doesn’t already know?

I guess this is to say, more than ever before, I am grateful for and valuing the time I have to pursue creative activities. It’s been the central organizing factor of my life. It’s been my priority forever. I mean, I do take care of responsibilities first (got to pay the bills!) but if I have a little bundle of time, making stuff if what I enjoy.

So, it was tough when there was no time. And I suspect, I will experience that again. Frankly, it’s made me feel cagey and agitated. But’s it’s also made me want to make the most of now. I want to get back to it!

If you are curious and I am frustrating you with my lack of expository information, I had a ton of work in the last year. I also had a higher dose of anxiety than I am rated for, and I felt I was on the verge of short circuiting at every moment. I didn’t short circuit, I did all the work, and I even did one or two drawings and some sidewalk faces. My friends didn’t find me repulsive, in fact they really came through for me. So, I managed. But I was losing my essence, my joie de vivre, my sense of fun, the thing that makes me excited. Sometimes you can’t see something until it’s gone. I didn’t know this thing could go. I’ve felt it wax and wane, but never for this long. It’s been concerning.

I think the most important thing in the world is being in relationship. I have done my best to attend to the ones I have. And I am committed to continuing to attend to them. But one relationship that must be included in the list is the one we have with our selves. And the way I spend time with myself, is making art. The way I nurture that relationship, the way I grow that relationship, the way I understand myself is through this activity. Without it, I am actually not sure who I am.

I am so happy to have some time again.

—

I wrote that in late January. I came back over here today to see what if any breadcrumbs I had left myself. How thoughtful of me to have written an entire blog post that is still relevant. I am over here on my WordPress desktop app tip toe-ing around, seeing if I can get back on this blog horse. Maybe I can entice him with some imaginary apple art cake. So grateful I have the time to try!