Winter Sandals

Winter Sandals

Good news/bad news. Good news first.

My husband loves his new slippers! Did you read my novel, I Lost it Over Slippers? Okay, it was long but it was really funny and worth it. I ordered us all some house shoes, first pair ever for the husband.

I’m picking up here where I left off there and keeping it short! The first Zappos box arrives and both pairs don’t fit. It was a repeat situation. I’m not even gonna describe it. Disappointment is such a hard emotion to manage. But we persevered and all our feet are now snuggly and warm! Husband’s were the last to arrive, so he is the newcomer to the warm foot party and since he’s never experienced this before, it’s a total game changer.

There really is no bad news but something funny and frustrating happened, only frustrating in the dumbest and least consequential way. Last night I brought him his slippers while he was reclining on the couch with the doggies and pulled his boots off, demonstrating how they could be worn at night and not just in the morning. But confusion was sown when he woke and couldn’t find them in the bedroom. He bellowed down the hallway, where are my sandals! I can’t find my sandals!

Your sandals? Your winter sandals? This is the same man who calls a long sleeve t-shirt a thin sweater and has no idea what fleece is. He’s also told me he likes my skirt when I am wearing a dress. I don’t know. Do you? It doesn’t matter. It makes me laugh. I am so glad he likes his winter sandals. That’s definitely what we are calling them from now on.

What would you do with a quart of sour half and half?

What would you do with a quart of sour half and half?

Picture an unopened container, the classic waxed cardboard type, not plastic, that expired several days ago and has been left to sit out on the dish drain unrefrigerated for several days.

Response #1

Slowly pour it down the drain while running water.

Response #2

Place in nearly full garbage can. Then heap additional garbage on top so that the container can no longer be seen. Make sure the topping garbage is threatening to spill out in such a way that no additional garbage can confidently go in. Leave this situation for wife to discover when she is trying to put new garbage into the bin.

This wife has a great technique for creating more space. She compacts the garbage by gently folding the bag’s upper flaps over each other and then stepping on it with all her weight. Normally this gets you another half day of usage before needing to take outside. Normally this does not ruin your Nike sneakers.

It’s like the garbage masturbated on my shoe with spoiled milk. Ewh!

So that’s what that low base pompf sound was.