What’s Your Affinity? I Like Faces.

What’s Your Affinity? I Like Faces.

In a recent post I described artistic affinity and used my attraction to gray as an illustration. This may explain why I don’t grow tired of making faces on pavement year after year, but it doesn’t explain my affinity for found object portraiture. Let me use this space as a workbench to try and figure out how to state the deeper affinities that drive all of my art.

My Affinity

Facial expressions are the language of emotion. As pack animals, we are incredibly good at knowing how someone feels internally by reading their external body language. Notice the common verb reading to describe the process of seeing someone and decoding their emotional state. I love looking at my faces after I have made them and “reading” the emotion they are projecting. I usually have some idea about it in the moment of making it but I work so fast and under such ephemeral conditions, that I don’t spend much time on that part during the making of them. I have a strong intuitive sense I got it, or I might keep going. I know when a face is blah, or worse, inauthenticc. But it’s happening almost unconsciously on my part. I don’t intentionally bring my consciousness to it until I look at later on my computer screen. In this sense, my process accommodates to two versions of my inner artist, the hunter/gatherer and the cook. Each suits my affinities.

The Hunter/Gatherer

I love to walk around and notice things. I love having a task while I do it. The task is called find supplies and find something unique we can use to make a face. I just really really enjoy this. It’s natural and easy. This hunter/gatherer is less interested in what is going to happen to the face that she makes and more interested in just hunting it and gathering it. The thrill is being finely attuned to one’s surroundings.

The Cook

The cook is interested in what has been brought to her. She is selective and is looking for a harmonious combination of good composition, lighting and facial expression. She wants a very definitive emotion to be coming across. The face should suggest a story, a story which explains the emotion. Many faces don’t meet these requirements and don’t get shared. The cook wants to share her creation. The cook is thinking about who will eat her food. She wants to please and delight them. The hunter/gatherer only wants to please the cook.

The Attraction

The attraction is not really towards the object, but rather the adventure and the reward. I feel rewarded by creating an expression. I like people. I like stories. Facial expressions are very short stories told in the medium of the flesh when real and the medium of pavement when I do it. I don’t get bored, or tired, or done with making faces. Each new one delights me. That’s not strictly true. Some faces are too dumb or too irritating. I don’t bother taking photos of those. Or if I do, I don’t share them. So, the most important part of the process is creating an expression that I find fascinating. Most of the time it’s because I relate to the expression but occasionally it’s because I don’t. Either way is acceptable, as long as I feel an attraction.

I enjoy the work of several artists who make designs out of found objects, rather than faces. They are so beautiful. I enjoy seeing their new work every week. I can perceive and appreciate what they are going and yet I feel no compulsion to try it. It’s that compulsion that I think is attached to affinity. It’s something you just can’t stop. Maybe you are only doing it in your head, you haven’t started acting on it, but it’s happening. It’s very hard to get going when there is no affinity. That’s just drudgery. Art must never be drudgery. Art can’t be a drudgery. It’s cancels itself out.

The Orphan Statement

I started this post in September of 2020. Some posts I dash off, mostly if they are about a specific moment in time. But essays about my most deep-seated theories take longer to craft. I am brutal on my writing and throw stuff away constantly. If I think I still need to explore an idea, but it has been removed from its originating paragraph, I add it to the bottom with the idea that I will review it before I finalize the post. The sentence below remains, never incorporated but never rejected. It does not fit into the structure of this blog post, but I think it deserves a moment. If we re-ask the title; What is Your Affinity?, this is a good answer for me:

My affinity is an intersection of my consciousness of being conscious, a sense of mystery and a sense of mortality. When I see something in the bullseye of that triad, I engage with it.

Now. Right Now.

Now. Right Now.

I think there are ways you are supposed to do things, like post to your blog regularly and not erratically. Reasonable, right? I get it. But here’s what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna act like I might die any minute* and I don’t want regrets. So I’m going to publish a lot when I write a lot, and not when I don’t.

Why am I saying this? Sometimes I come back to the blog after an absence and find fully written posts that aren’t published. Why didn’t I get the ball over the finish line? Maybe because I thought it would be nice to parse things out. Well isn’t that sweet and thoughtful. No! It’s an excuse. It’s fear of running out. I probably thought I would publish when I had a second post written and ready to go. It’s a weird kind of creativity hoarding. Uncertain about future abundance, I hoard what I have in case I need it more later than now. That sounds positively ridiculous. As sunlight is to germs, consciousness is to bad ideas. I am glad I just discovered and named this stupid problem.

So dear reader, I want you to know I am a sporadic writer. Sometimes I have the time and sometimes I don’t. I hope that doesn’t bother you too much. I do plan to continue and I hope you enjoy what you’re reading. I am open to hearing suggestions. I write what I want to work out in my own mind but I am always thinking of you because I am writing for a reader. I want it to resonate, be engaging and hopefully creatively inspiring. I appreciate you and your time and I want to offer something worthy of it.

Now please go do something you really want to do. Right now!


*I know nothing about my mortality. No worries! It’s just an idea I use to motivate my actions.

Which One?

Which One?

Keyboard You Got This Pen_2019_1104_1_10_small

My last post started with a sentence describing my morning routine. When I started the first sentence, I thought I was going to be covering the thematic territory of this little essay but to my surprise, things went in a totally different and disgusting direction. If you have to ask yourself if you read it, then you didn’t. You wouldn’t forget. In fact, if you read it, you probably made a point to never visit us again. Link at the end.

That is what makes writing, like all creative acts, so much fun. You really don’t know what is going to happen.

What I had been intending to say in the previous post was this: Every morning I get up before anyone else, turn on the coffee, head to the couch and start informing myself about how screwed up everything is. First I give the Washington Post a shot at it, a few editorials later I mosey over to the Dailymail and check to see if a Kardashian is wearing a new outfit cuz, that’s weirdly like an antidote to the first activity. But unfortunately they cancel each other out and I am none the better for any of it yet nevertheless out a full hour of my life. Why do I do this? I ask myself this question every day. I swear to myself we are going to do better tomorrow. This is the absolute last time we read 200 Breitbart readers comments on an article about Greta Thunberg, or hunt for spoiler synopsis on the latest horror movie I am curious about but too afraid to watch. Some days I read recaps of shows I watched the night before. A tad redundant?

What I tell myself I should be doing is this, writing. When I know what I am supposed to write it’s a pleasure. But once a post is done and “more” is not a specific task but a general goal, I revert back to reading on the couch. Yesterday I managed to get myself over to the writing area, opened up WordPress and wondered if maybe something interesting was lurking in the 14 draft essays we have saved. Here is the list of titles.

Wordpress Draft Titles

A few of these I am going to write for myself. I still want to, I still have something to say. But one of these I am going to write for you. Which one do you want to read?  The title with the most votes gets written.

Just based on titles alone, I would pick Free Will, Heavy Metal and Having Ideas. I totally want to read that. I opened the draft to see where I was headed. Nothing. Not a single word. So if that gets picked, it might not even help me get off the couch. I mean, what is going to come of it? I’ll put on some Mastodon and figure it out.

I also liked the title Not What I Expected Part 2. Unlike heavy metal, it’s mostly written! And funny. Why the hell didn’t I publish it 4 1/2 years ago? So stupid. The only issue is it needs an ending. Do I bring it back round to present day? Also, it was an actual part 2 to a previous post which might need to be reshaped for context. Wait a minute, I’m starting to feel like I have a task! I like that! Gotta get writing!

Update! My awesome brother made me a voting form. Click here to VOTE:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScrUFShNxZ2nbBzPlB5ly2jMgbiO1R6qH6wsTKqW5xeaKBv_g/viewform?usp=sf_link

Gross Post Link Below. Trigger Warning for those with Infestation Fears.

Not What I Expected Part 3