Jerk Neighbor

Sidewalk Face_jerk Neighbor.JPG

This paint stain is two blocks away and I go by it quite often. I’ve made several Sidewalk Faces there. A few days ago I noticed that some of the paint was peeling in a way that could look like eyes so I get a rusty nail out of my purse. While I’m squatting and scratching out the face I feel a shadow fall and look up to a looming figure saying something I can’t understand. It’s disconcerting to have someone right next to you without realizing it. I’m listening to a 2DopeQueens podcast and I’m confused.

I take out my ear buds and Neighbor says What are you doing?  I start to answer and Neighbor interrupts by pointing at a small dog poop and asks if my dog did it. No! I say and  continue to explain myself but he turns and walks away, going behind a large bush where he is watering a small garden. I am pretty sure Decaf pooped on the previous block but suddenly I wonder if I missed seeing him do it again because I was so absorbed in making my face. The poop is the right size and color and I am feeling bad that I didn’t notice.

I stop making the face (it’s coming out so good!). Pick up the poop. It’s totally cold. Not his. This poop has been here for at least an hour. I decide to share this information with Neighbor so he will know I am not the inconsiderate dog owner he thinks I am. Neighbor does not care. I come at him with a torrent of polite words and he says “TMI” and then mutters “asshole”.

Shit. I can’t very well go take the photo now. Too awkward. I anxiously walk Decaf about 10 more minutes, throw away the actual inconsiderate dog owner’s dog poop, cycle back, get the photo and go.

The next day I walk by and the paint stain is all hacked up.  Me thinks Neighbor did this to thwart me. Well, Ha! Jerk Neighbor. Jokes on you. Now I can make even more faces from this stain. You can’t keep this polite pareidoliast down.

You can see all of my Sidewalk Faces on Instagram at:


Side Walk Face 16

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Sidewalk Face 120

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