Jerk Neighbor

Sidewalk Face_jerk Neighbor.JPG

This paint stain is two blocks away and I go by it quite often. I’ve made several Sidewalk Faces there. A few days ago I noticed that some of the paint was peeling in a way that could look like eyes so I get a rusty nail out of my purse. While I’m squatting and scratching out the face I feel a shadow fall and look up to a looming figure saying something I can’t understand. It’s disconcerting to have someone right next to you without realizing it. I’m listening to a 2DopeQueens podcast and I’m confused.

I take out my ear buds and Neighbor says What are you doing?  I start to answer and Neighbor interrupts by pointing at a small dog poop and asks if my dog did it. No! I say and  continue to explain myself but he turns and walks away, going behind a large bush where he is watering a small garden. I am pretty sure Decaf pooped on the previous block but suddenly I wonder if I missed seeing him do it again because I was so absorbed in making my face. The poop is the right size and color and I am feeling bad that I didn’t notice.

I stop making the face (it’s coming out so good!). Pick up the poop. It’s totally cold. Not his. This poop has been here for at least an hour. I decide to share this information with Neighbor so he will know I am not the inconsiderate dog owner he thinks I am. Neighbor does not care. I come at him with a torrent of polite words and he says “TMI” and then mutters “asshole”.

Shit. I can’t very well go take the photo now. Too awkward. I anxiously walk Decaf about 10 more minutes, throw away the actual inconsiderate dog owner’s dog poop, cycle back, get the photo and go.

The next day I walk by and the paint stain is all hacked up.  Me thinks Neighbor did this to thwart me. Well, Ha! Jerk Neighbor. Jokes on you. Now I can make even more faces from this stain. You can’t keep this polite pareidoliast down.

You can see all of my Sidewalk Faces on Instagram at:


Side Walk Face 16

Sidewalk Face 16.JPG

Sidewalk Face 120

Sidewalk Face 120.JPG

5 thoughts on “Jerk Neighbor

  1. Shame he is missing all the delight your creations inspire in me and so many others.poor thing..he is the asshole..btw..what does tmi stand for?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. TMI is too much information. He made it clear he did not want to know anything from me! Not sure what he thought I represented. But thank you for your nice comment Charlotte!


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