Why I Do Moderation

Why I Do Moderation

Because I don’t want to do abstinence.

If the choice is some potato chips or no potato chips, I prefer some.

Of course, I have habits and vices that get over indulged. I am thinking of you coffee! When the window between those times narrows, I know I have to dial it back. Not because I am a good and disciplined person but because I fear real discipline. I should probably quite caffeine for a few days but how about I just go back to two cups a day instead of four?

Moderation is a strategy of having one’s cake and getting to eat a few bites as well.

This only works when you aren’t battling true addiction. There is one substance I am totally prostrate to, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers. Once the bag is open, I have to eat it all, as quickly as possible. This is going to get gross for a second so skip to the next paragraph if you want to avoid a visceral description of eating. I don’t even swallow fully before more goldfish go in. Apparently, I want the crunch and the bolus together. Yuck! I feel all that cheesy mass gathering behind my molars and yet I don’t clear it, I just keep inserting the crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

It’s hard to say if what is happening is enjoyment. It’s almost like I want it to end more than I want anything else and ending is not stopping but just getting the stuff gone.

It’s so bizarre to me because I don’t have this with anything else. OK, one other thing. Pringles. I guess I really like salty/crunchy. But I can and do make a can of Pringles last two days. Otherwise I’m okay. We always have an opened bag of corn chips and though I sometimes eat a regrettable amount, I do stop. I don’t require the absence of the chip to end the session. Who knows why some things are irresistible but those things have to be eliminated. I just can’t have Goldfish. I don’t buy them. It’s that simple.

I don’t care about giving up Goldfish. They mean nothing to me. I do care about coffee. I really don’t want to give it up. I think moderation is a good strategy if it can be achieved.

Sock Party

Sock Party

I feel like I’ve developed a reputation around the house for being critical so I’m conscientiously trying to be more tolerate or at least keep my trap shut. Then I stumble across this tableau.

Does anyone have a suggestion for how to handle this uncritically? Is there a new standard I am unaware of where socks and dirty cake knives get to co-mingle in the kitchen and everyone’s cool with it? My husband’s defense was; those socks just came out of the dryer, meaning it’s okay because they didn’t just come off his feet. Good point. That is a plus.

I think what happened is, he was on his way to putting them on when suddenly seduced by cake availability. I guess I can’t fault him for that. The cake is really good.

What would you do with a quart of sour half and half?

What would you do with a quart of sour half and half?

Picture an unopened container, the classic waxed cardboard type, not plastic, that expired several days ago and has been left to sit out on the dish drain unrefrigerated for several days.

Response #1

Slowly pour it down the drain while running water.

Response #2

Place in nearly full garbage can. Then heap additional garbage on top so that the container can no longer be seen. Make sure the topping garbage is threatening to spill out in such a way that no additional garbage can confidently go in. Leave this situation for wife to discover when she is trying to put new garbage into the bin.

This wife has a great technique for creating more space. She compacts the garbage by gently folding the bag’s upper flaps over each other and then stepping on it with all her weight. Normally this gets you another half day of usage before needing to take outside. Normally this does not ruin your Nike sneakers.

It’s like the garbage masturbated on my shoe with spoiled milk. Ewh!

So that’s what that low base pompf sound was.