Everything is Stupid and I Hate It. Coffee Edition.

Husband is in charge of coffee. He does a bang up job and can head the department for life as far as the board of my directors is concerned. Until a few days ago we never had a single complaint filed. But. Pandemic.

We had a lot of coffee on hand when it started but of course we guzzled through it. Is it just us or do you also find that no amount of coffee seems to make this go away?

The problem is we have a very narrow range of what we like which is precisely one coffee product. Cost Plus’s french roast. We buy it in 24 oz bags which last about 2 weeks. Cost is $9.99.

Husband had been trying all week to order more online and it seemed to be doable but the final place order button just wouldn’t activate. Argh! Eventually he did it through his phone. All good except 12 days for delivery but only 1 day of good coffee left in house.

You know how annoying it is to get suggestions on how to do your job from someone who doesn’t know jack shit? Well that’s me and my Clean Floors Department thinking we know dick all about coffee purchasing. I suggest he buy a small bag from the fancy coffee shop down the street to tide us over. I hard sell it thusly: No one in shop, no disease catching and for sweetener, supporting local business!

So Husband goes to deserted coffee shop and for $21 comes back with 2 cups of beans. Two cups! A third of our normal bag, at six times the price. Well at least it’s going to be the most awesome heirloom coffee of our lives, right?

We hated it!

Capital H Hated it! Talked about it for two hours hated it. Close inspection of the package read, notes: blueberry, lemon, redston fruite, chocolate. Husband said I am buying coffee, not fruit salad. This wasn’t flavored coffee guys, this is the expensive hipster best seller! I don’t get it! Maybe the problem is medium roast. I like my coffee to resemble tar in both color and consistancy.

We went back to drinking some Ikea coffee that had previously been considered trash and now seems pretty tasty. Counting the days until Cost Plus delivers.

Just in case you don’t know me and this isn’t obvious, these aren’t real problems and I’m not really upset about them. We are so lucky in so many ways. I am using humor to cope with my fear and dismay about the ongoing tragedy around us. Please stay as safe as you can and be kind to others.

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2 thoughts on “Everything is Stupid and I Hate It. Coffee Edition.

  1. Mary Trunk says:

    Love this so much. Paul is in charge of coffee here. Also does a bang-up job and only likes certain kinds. You know me, I can drink instant. We found a TJ’s brand Paul really likes. Whole beans. I hate that. I hate doing the grinding and I hate hearing it and I hate the stupid mess. He thinks we’ve found the perfect selection. I haven’t yet told him that what he thinks is a deal is not. I used to buy Peets at Target when it was on sale and it was a good deal. But now he’s in charge of shopping too. Pandemic.

    Mary Trunk

    http://www.maandpafilms.com

    http://www.musclememoryproject.com

    http://www.thewatershedproject.com

    626.590.1803

    From: eaglecrowowl Reply-To: eaglecrowowl Date: Thursday, May 7, 2020 at 12:19 PM To: Subject: [New post] Everything is Stupid and I Hate It. Coffee Edition.

    eaglecrowowl posted: ” Husband is in charge of coffee. He does a bang up job and can head the department for life as far as the board of my directors is concerned. Until a few days ago we never had a single complaint filed. But. Pandemic. We had a lot of coffee on hand”

    Like

    • eaglecrowowl says:

      Thanks Mary! Paul does good coffee! And you have the best coffee cups! Just found out delivery is supposed to come today. I fell to my knees! I really do love my coffee. Well see if it really comes.

      Like

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